an attitude that's pleasent to have! :) day 3

ok, so today, I would have to say that I am so thankful for that "go after what you want and don't back down no matter what" attitude that my parents have encouraged for as long as I can remember. They have always stood behind my dreams too, no matter how crazy....which is awesome. But that is a post for another day! :) Anyhow, now back to my attitude that I love so much! To truly understand what I mean, we shall take a walk through my college years thus far.

This is me a few short days before getting gall bladder surgery. I look good, but see here, truth is, I didn't know I was days away from getting my gall bladder taken out. All I knew was that I was sick quite a bit, and that over break I was going to see a gall bladder surgeon for his opinion on whether or not I needed my gall bladder out. I knew it was a possibility, not that it was for sure going to happen. The brownies were because I passed my Swisher final with a 92%....that was my history final, and I still managed to not pass the class. I mean technically I did, but I have to have a C in order to pass and I only got a D+.....yes, even after that grade on the final. Anyway, I had my gall bladder out 4 days before Christmas, but still returned to school with a "Satan get behind me" attitude. I managed to keep this attitude the following semester as I dealt with masses appearing in my small intestine and no real knowledge as to what they were....on my part, or the doctor's. Eventually they went away and haven't come back yet.....*knocks on wood* I still managed through all of this to keep a smile on and tell myself "Satan get behind me....I WILL finish this year!" and I did. I may not have passed History, but other than that....I was good. And I was signed up in the fall for attempt two. And I was determined over the summer to study for the class and pass it! (oh, and if you are still wondering, I did get to celebrate Christmas just fine. My brother is in the military and didn't come home till New Year's Eve, so that is when we did our Christmas. I as pretty healed by that point. 4 days or so away from getting the stitches out.)

My plans to study all summer were halted by major news. My sister and Chris were expecting a child. By time this news settled in, I had more news that had to sink in....they were getting married and they had chosen a date....July 10....that was roughly 8 weeks away and we had to get busy. I practically spent that whole summer until July in Hobby Lobby. So many little projects we did to make that day perfect, and you know what.....that is exactly what it was...it was perfect. I can't think of a bigger honor than standing up there next to my sister on her big day! I feel like that picture up there is perfect in so many ways. Not only is it me and my big sister, but it shows the love that we had for someone who would've loved to have been there....I really missed my grandma Duncan that day. Along with my daddy's grandparents. I retreated to Montana for a bit after the wedding. And by that, I mean I left four days after and stayed until about a week or two before school started for me here at college.

I went back to school my sophomore year promising myself that it would HAVE To better than surgery. I was a team leader and so I had a group of new freshman to direct in the ways of campus life. I made it through New Student Orientation, and it was right into Welcome Week.....and the best thing about Welcome Week is $5 concert tickets. And we are not talking about bands no one has heard of either, that year we had Abandon. Anyway, as a member of student activities, I offered to help set up for the concert. It went great until they put down that freaking extension cord. Long story short, I tripped over it. My friend was a paramedic and told me that I needed to go to the hospital and get it checked out. I refused and so he told me he would drop it if i walked on it. He wouldn't make me go. Just to spite him....I walked on it.....after a bit.....all the way back to my dorm. After realizing that he was fighting a losing battle and I wasn't going to the ER, he finally settled for me wrapping it in an Ace Bandage and checking it again the next morning. we wrapped it and I went up to my room.....on the third floor. with no elevator. It was in that moment that I truly decided.....I really didn't think this semester was going to be better. I held out hope and drifted off to sleep in more pain than I ever remember being in in my life! I woke up the next morning and even though it still hurt, I mustered up enough stubbornness to walk and not even act like it hurt. It wasn't until the next day when I woke up and couldn't put pressure on it, or move my toes...that I decided to go get it checked out. Next thing I know.....fast forward 17 weeks or so.....and I am just making it out of a walking boot. I still lived on the third floor the whole time. Even on crutches! I was so proud of myself. And in the midst of all that, my nephew (that baby you heard about earlier) decided to make his world debut about 5 weeks too early and around 5 pounds too light. The middle pictures are him. You can see how light he was and those things in the bottom pictures are Krystal and Chris' wedding bands. That gives you a visual as to just how tiny he was. Later on that day we got him to unball his fists and we had them up around him upper arm. Remember how this was supposed to be the good semester.....not so much! But Christmas break was coming, and that meant new surgeons who would hopefully actually figure out what was wrong with my foot. That 17 weeks ended because I got a different kind of brace from a different doctor. Eventually, sometime that summer....the pain just went away. March that school year leant itself to the experience of my first accident. yeah.....the good year will definitely be my junior year! I mean, it has to get better eventually right?!? That summer, my cousin got married, then I retreated to Montana again, and when I came home, I got kidnapped by Chris, then stayed out till the wee hours of the morning, came home, went to South Carolina, came home and had to get ready to go back to school in around a month or so. Before you get kinda confused. I wanted to assure you that he ended up just fine. That was him and I this past summer after I had had surgery. That is how you know I love you all..I put picture on the internet from before I have gotten ready for the day. But hey, that is what morning cuddle time is all about. I wish I could wake up and cuddle with him every day!

I went back with the thought that again....this was going to be the good semester. (I really need to stop doing that). It should have been some sort of indication when I came back to school sick from all the rapid weather changes that the summer had held, that had given way to the sickness, that I just really couldn't seem to kick. Anyhow, it went pretty well until a family emergency came up, that left me in Hannibal, and the family in Odessa. I knew there was nothing I could do, and so I just constantly told myself. Stand up....never back down! so then crisis was adverted and my best friend invited me to go to a concert to meet a band that I had never heard of, and all it was going to cost me was the use of a bedroom at my house in Kansas City. I was game and this started the craziness of becoming sisters to a group of rockstars, and the fun bond that comes with sharing BWW at 2 AM in a parking lot with them! Then it was time for Young Christian's Weekend. and I should have known that something was going to go wrong. I mean, this is me we are talking about, and life was just starting to slow down. I came back with a brace on my foot and that was that, my fate was set in stone. I blogged about the whole journey a few months ago, you can check it out here. Anyhow, I ended up with foot surgery, and my projected recovery date was a week before school started. I did get to go to Montana but it was only for a short while, but in those few days we were there, I got to see both my Huntley family and my Hays family. It was glorious! Then even better, while I was recovering from surgery, little miss Hope (my cousin) decided to make her world debut! Granted, when my family went to stay at my aunts in order to go see her when she was born, we started a minor plague and then no one got to see her....no big. You can read about that terrible, but somewhat hilarious visit here and here. Anyhow, we did all end up meeting her. Well, most of us did. She ended up sick in the hospital though and was there when I left for school. In the midst of that, my foot seemed pretty insignificant and I kinda felt like getting put into two shoes was far less significant. But alas I returned to school in TWO shoes! something that had been long awaited since about May or so when I got put back in my walking boot. If you are keeping track, this makes surgery number 2 in my college years.

Figuring that college just could not get any more.....interesting we will say, I returned to school to start my senior year of college. My two shoe joy faded all too quickly and I was put back in my boot, and I found this out the same week I was home for Little Miss Hope's funeral. She lost her fight all too soon, but for an instant think she gave up fighting voluntarily! And even in death, she donated organs to keep other families from the same fate. I wear a green "Donate Life" bracelet in her honor. My teacher doesn't like that I teach with it on, but hey....there are some fight I am willing to fight....and wearing this bracelet is one of those fight. and ummmm....I just really don't care if you think it's silly. But at any rate, while I was home for her funeral I was back to the doctor for my ankle, and ended up at the doctor for my knee which had been giving me really bad pain. I got an MRI done and that rendered nothing definitive, but gut feeling told the doctor that something was going on. He scheduled, and then we rescheduled, an exploratory surgery. I had surgery over fall break and since then have been recovering. I am effectively stumping the foot surgeon with my unhealing ankle, but I am in physical therapy now, so we will see if that starts to help soon. hopefully it does because I could really use something going right. At any rate. I still have the never stand down and never back down mentality. So for now, the surgery total stands, and hopefully stays, at 3 surgeries during college, and so far, not a great semester to date. Oh well, my God is good and He is looking over me and that makes everyday a good day. And I will continue to go through days with a smile on my face and a smile on my heart because you know, it could always be worse!

oh, and mom and dad.....thanks for the "go after what you want and don't back down no matter what" attitude! That right there is the only reason I can say College graduating class of 2013....here I come!

And now: for your Word of Wisdom! "My past did not define me, destroy me, deter me, or defeat me. All it is guilty of is strengthening me!" Hope that gives you all the same feeling of empowerment as it did me!