day 17

Tonight, I am thankful for both my sit down shower and my ice. It seems like odd things to be thankful for, but when you fall as much as I do, you need these things! Today, I actually managed to fall off of a sidewalk....yes folks, a sidewalk and hurt myself. I fell and scraped up my knee, but even worse, I hurt the foot that was already hurt. When I fell I felt a pop and it is swollen. Gonna try and stay off of it as much as possible this weekend, and then see what Justin says at physical therapy on Monday. Maybe my whole Thanksgiving Break is going to end up filled with dr. appointments! grrrrr! I think I am the person I know who gets hurt the most. I mean really, what college age kid falls off the side of a sidewalk and actually hurts themselves enough to debate going to get it checked out. the only thing stopping me is that if they find anything wrong with it, then they are going to want to fix it there (let it be with a brace or whatever) and I do not want anything done with that foot without Justin or Dr. Kuhn doing it! I feel like that is just asking for something to go wrong. At any rate, thsi thing won't let me put a picture in, and so I am going to head and take a shower and then go to bed with ice on my ankle. Hopefully the swelling will go down and I will be able to move my toes in the morning!

nailed it! day 16

Today, I am thankful for girls in my life to do Pintrest-esque projects with. I have a few different girls that I can do things with. Tonight, it happened to be Jen, Alex, and myself who decided to give our go at marble painted nails. To do this, contrary to the name, you do not use marbles! Anywho, to do this, you put a couple drops of two different colors of nail polish, and then you run a toothpick through them to make designs with them, and then you pick a design spot and put your nail down on it, count to ten or so, and then lift up the nail. Seems easy enough right? Do not let it deceive you.....it is NOT as easy at it sounds! It took Jen, Alex, and I like an hour and a half to get it to work! If nothing else, even had we not figured it out, the memories made were worth the experience alone. Seriously, more and more I am living by the philosophy that life is about laughing too much, taking too many pictures, and enjoying the moments spent making memories. I mean seriously though, who remembers what they did all those Friday nights they sat in their rooms and did homework? Not me! Nights like tonight though, I am going to remember long after my sides stop hurting from laughing so dang much. Best part of the evening=plans to do this one Friday or Saturday night a month. I am stoked! Absolutely can't wait! For now though, I am off to get in the shower and then take my medicine and head to bed!

day 15

I am thankful for the kiddos at my job. Actually, scratch that.....I am thankful for the kiddos that I teach. I mean seriously, I get the opportunity to do what I love everyday, and get college credit for it. No matter how my morning has gone, all it takes is those kiddos running up to hug me and tell me they miss me, and it makes my heart melt a little bit more and more each time. Then after spending a couple hours of the morning with these kiddos, I get to get in my car, and come back to the college for a bit, and then go spend a couple hours of my evening with another set of kiddos that make my heart smile! Tonight, I also got to have a Gatekeepers event, and so I got a triple helping of heart-smiling, laughing so hard it takes your breath away, mile long smiles, and heart melting fun tonight! It is these nights that this that are going to make me miss college!

I would also like to take this moment to say how thankful I am for the insightful conversation that took place in the hallway of an elementary school today! I was feeling a bit frazzled upon entering my first grade classroom to see that there was a substitute teacher. Last week when we had a substitute, it ended up being much more chaotic than it should have been, and the panic was written all over the subs face. In the end though, it worked out and the kids learned stuff. Anyway, when I got there, the sub told me that there was a change in plans, and that she was wanting me to meet with my group, but then also gave me a list of certain skills to go around and work with some of the other students on. I am a person that needs structure and order and time to prep, but at any rate, I did what I was told, met with my group, and then called individual students over to work with them on needed skills until it was time for me to leave. After I left and was on my way to observe a music class, he was walking back to the room and stopped me wanting to chat for a minute. As we stood in the hall and chatted, he told me that I had done a great job adapting to what I was told to do, even with no prep time. This was great news to me to hear, because I had thought I was doing horrible. He also told me that seeing that I had that skill, made him feel that I was going to be an excellent teacher, and that in the short time I have been there, seeing that I have won over the hearts of the students, just solidified this thought in his mind. It was such an encouragement boost for me, especially after getting an evaluation this week from my teacher (the one at the college, not the one whose classroom I am in), that made my heart sink. It made me really question whether or not I was going into the right field. However, in that hallway today, this total stranger made me completely convinced that I was on the right track! So stranger out there, if you ever read this, thank you! I am sure somewhere in our convo we exchanged names, but I am unable to place a name right now!

Words of Wisdom: "Mistakes are part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are. They are precious life lessons that could only be learned the hard way." ~Al Franken

day 14

I am thankful for the organizing bug I seemed to catch in a major way this week. I organized my desk, my shelves, and even under my bed. Stuff was still a bit unorganized from moving, and I also went through and organized my binders for classes. It definitely helped to take my stress level WAY down! At any rate! I am headed to bed and apologizing for this short, sweet, and straight to the point post......and the lack of pictures.....blogger seems to be having an attitude with picture uploading for me lately!

the little things: day 13

Today, I was reminded of just how much God takes care of me. Right down to the smallest of details. Yesterday, I woke up with a headache of the worst kind, and I couldn't really take anything for it. I had my pain medicine, and I had taken that to help with the ankle, and that wasn't cutting it, so I took the only other thing I could, and that was Tylenol. That didn't touch it, and so I was stuck with this thing.....through my morning class.....through teaching in the morning......through a music observation on instruments.....through my afternoon class.....and then I tried taking a nap with an ice pack on my head.....no such luck......and I was stuck with this ridiculous thing through work. I came back from work and tried going to dinner and eating something, which at this point was an accomplishment because I was nauseous, and through the whole dinner, I kept praying that I would feel better so I could stay up and get some homework done, and that way I would stress a little less! Shortly after dinner, I started to feel better, and I even joined my friends for a friendly board game in the lobby before retreating to work on homework. That was little ways God takes care of me-moment 1!

My God-moment number 2 came this morning right when I got up actually. I was staring at my closet, and I realized that I have cute clothes, but absolutely no ability to put them together in a cute way! Anywho, I was feeling particularly challenged this morning, and so I checked my phone to see about the time (I was going to go get a friend to help me figure out what to wear). and I saw I had a message, and I opened it, and it was from a friend of mine and it said "I haven't told you this in awhile, and I just wanted to remind you that you are beautiful!" not only did this message come through at the exact right time, but this particular friend remembered the heart melting that came with being called beautiful over hot or sexy, because I feel like it implies both inner and outer beauty, not just surface beauty.....I know, I look too much into a compliment sometimes, but hey!, it is a part of my personality that will never change. I eventually settled on an outfit not long after that, and got a lot of compliments from my first graders. This is the closet I was looking at this morning, wishing so hard that my sister were here to help me put these clothes together in something that makes me look professional, as well as still having some sense of identity. My typical problem is that I tend to put outfits together the exact same way every time, and so I have outfits, they just do not vary, and so I am constantly getting looks like people think I have already worn that outfit recently. I do not like the looks, and so I am working on putting outfits together differently! When I started to worry about my hair, I kid you not...the song More Beautiful You came on my Spotify. I love that I serve a God who knows exactly what my heart needs, when it needs it.

My God-moment number 3 came actually about five minutes before I started typing this post. I have really been missing home and such, and right before I started to write this post, I decided that since I had a few minutes, I would put the pics from my camera on my computer and on Facebook. I knew that the pictures of Isaac's birthday party were on there, but I did not realize that those and the pictures I took of my dorm room today were the only ones on there. I was greeted my the sight of my nephew at his birthday party. Again, what a God-send to get me through until Thanksgiving! I love my Lord and the moments He provides me with to be reminded of His grace and His love, and His ability to know EXACTLY what I need, and to know EXACTLY when I need it!

In CRU tonight, we were talking about our identity in Christ, and we listened to the song "You Are More" by Tenth Avenue North. I encourage you all to listen to it.....even if you have before. Anywho, in listening to that song, I was reminded of a truth that I often forget, and this is where our Words of Wisdom come from this evening. The chorus of the song contains the following lyrics and I can feel my heart become less heavy every single time I hear it: "You are more than the choices that you've made. You are more than the sum of your past mistakes. You are more than the problems you create. You've been remade!" ~Tenth Avenue North (You Are More) Such an encouraging promise that we are told by Christ. Anyway, I recommend watching the video too. It is very simple, yet powerful!

day 12

It seems like a stupid thing to be thankful for, but today I am thankful for my brace, my medicine, and my orthodics. I mean, each of these things right now are crucial to getting me better, and I cannot wait for that day. Today was especially tough because I woke up with my ankle hurting very badly, and so I put on my brace, walked down to the RFAC and headed out to teach. When I got back, I wore my orthodics to work after my nap. None of these one things seems to be the answer to my problems right now, but when used at the proper time, each can offer a degree of support and help. I know the orthodics are just something I am going to have to get used to.....since I will be wearing them for a long time. In the meantime, I have my brace and I have my medicine for those days when nothing else will really cut it. At any rate, getting better in the near future would be the most desirable option! :)

Words of Wisdom: "I will walk by faith, even when I cannot see, because this broken road prepares [His] will for me!" ~Jeremy Camp (Walk by Faith)

day 11

Today, you get two thankfulness posts in one! It is your lucky day! First, I am thankful that God allowed me to be in that hospital exactly two years ago. That night was rough, but something SOOOO great came from it! I cannot imagine life without Isaac! I wrote about him a few days ago, so I will save you all the reading!

The second thing that I am thankful for is our nation's military. I come from a long line of military men and women, and I cannot even begin to express the gratitude for the sacrifices that they make! I mean, I know it was hard enough for our family with the sacrifices that we had to make for being a family with a member in the military!

Finally, your Words of Wisdom for this evening: "Life's about hanging on when your heart has had enough, it's about giving more when you feel like giving up!" ~Martina McBride (In My Daughter's Eyes)

day 10

Today, it seems like an obvious thing to be thankful for, but I am thankful that I serve a God who give me a sunrise every morning, a beautiful sunset every night, and a night sky full of stars to admire! I seriously do not know how people can look at the sun and at the stars and not believe there is a God! I mean, I find my God in each and every part of nature and of life, and I guess that is the difference between me and some people. This is one of those topics that unfortunately, I do not have the real word to describe, so I will leave you with the following words of wisdom: "why wish upon a star, when you could pray to the one who created it?"

day 9 :)

Today, I have to say that I am thankful for doctors. I had a doctor's appointment today, and while the news I got was not great, it could have been a lot worse! I found out that he does not believe surgery will have to be an option. However, I also found out that he is really not sure what is going on. He gave me a cortizone shot, in hopes that it would help to make the pain a little more tolerable. He says that it will kick in in two or three days! I am really hoping it gives me some relief. If not, I am not sure what the next step is. I guess if it isn't getting better in the next few days, I will make an appointment to see him when I am home for Thanksgiving. In the meantime, I am supposed to continue doing physical therapy, and I am supposed to wear my orthodics. Hopefully, between all of these changes, things start to feel better! The best thing about my doctor, is that I can tell he is genuinely upset that I am not feeling better, and that he can not figure out why! Anywho, him and I are BOTH hoping that I will just wake up one day and be better!

and now, for your Words of Wisdom: "I've learned that faith means trusting in advance, what will only make sense in reverse." ~Philip Yancey

day 8

Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD. "Plans to prosper you , and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." Even as I sit here tonight, rubbing my eyes, so ready to go to bed, I find myself wanted to just sit and meditate on how powerful of a promise that is. I mean, I don't know about you, but I am absolutely flattered to know that a God that has a whole world to worry about, took the time to write a future for me of that magnitude. It also gives me the peace needed to make it through tough times. This is because God promises me that His plans are not there to harm me, they are there to grow me. I am so thankful to serve a Savior who has my thoughts and my feelings in mind when He decided what my future would hold. I feel that this post is super short (maybe it makes up for the super long ones the past few days), but still so powerful. I also kind of feel like the thankfulness speaks for itself. Also, I can't really find words to say (or type for that matter) that really express how unbearably happy this promise for my future makes me. So I am not even going to try.....I am jsut gonna give up here and clean off my bed and go to sleep.

Words of wisdom for this evening: "One day your life will flash before your eyes, make sure it is worth watching!" ~Gerard Way

absolute perfection day 7

I have been dying to blog about this thankfulness that I have in my heart for this topic. I am sooo thankful for my family. I have waited a week for this blog, because 7 is the number of perfection, and I feel like my family is perfect for me. I do not by any means think we are perfect, we are far from it, but I do mean that life seems the most perfect with them, than without them!

The craziest thing is, I think this is actually the last picture we have of all of us together. We are always saying that when all of us kids are home that we need one, we just never remember to take one. It's OK though, we have never been one for group shots. I feel like we all bring such a different thing to this family that makes it work. I mean, when one person is off, we can all feel it! It just doesn't feel the same! With each person, I am going to put a quote, so you get mega quotes tonight :)

My mom. To the family she brings comfort and peacefulness. Whether I am here at school, or at home, I feel like a call or a talk with mom will make the day better. For the most part, we talk every single day, even if it is just for a few minutes! I have come to treasure these calls more than anything. Especially on tough days. Also, growing up, my mom mediated many arguments. The rules in mediation were simple: no name calling, be fair, and tell the truth. I feel like she is Dr. Phil, only a woman, and she has better advice. So I guess in essence, I think she is like Dr. Phil, only totally different! She used to tell us nearly every day before we left for school, up until the day I graduated high school, to have and be a great day. I used to think it was so cheesy, but now I find myself thinking it throughout the day and wishing I hadn't rolled my eyes after I turned around most days. Growing up, mom could make anything fun. Even math! I love math now, and I am good at it, but it didn't always used to be that way. Mom did so many math problems using candy. Best part of candy math......you get to eat your pieces when you are done! Hmmmm, maybe that is why it took so long for me to learn math, maybe it was because I just kept wanting reasons to get skittles. Which, skittles by the way, are very good for teaching children colors! :) I thank God everyday for my mother's heart of gold, and that I was blessed with two awesome parents. I also thank god that, because of how I was raised, mom and dad have the opportunity to be my friend now, more than a parent. They will always be mom and dad, but I can honestly say that my mom is one of my best friends right now! I wouldn't trade that for the world! :) (in the picture, my mom and dad are the two in the middle. My aunt and I are on the outside right and my cousin and his wife are on the outside left.)

"Mommy love is the love that makes the impossible, possible."

My daddy, oh goodness....so many things to say about him. I guess overall, he gives me a good example of what it means to be the leader of a household. Him and mom work as a team, and he does a very good job of leading our family without making any person seem any more or less significant. This is definitely a quality I will look for in my future husband. He also is a firm believer in teach it, see it, do it. A concept I will rely heavily on in the future. He says that you can teach people to do things by telling them how to do it, showing them how to do it, and then offering them the chance to do it. The trick though, is allowing mistakes and advice on how to fix those mistakes. We can't win them all, and not everyone gets it on the first try. I have been blessed to have this philosophy in my life. Before I got my license, I had to know how to change my own tire. This has saved me on many occasions here at school. As well as being a saving grace to others as well. I thank God for all I have learned, and all that I am learning, and all that I will learn from him. So many times, he opted for a project to take ten times longer, because it meant that us kids could get in on the action of fixing things, or building them, or whatever. I still remember building in the basement with him when I was way little. I wanted to put a bolt in to hold the wall up and so he told me how and about the time he asked me if it was tight enough, I broke the bolt off and got it stuck in the ratchet I was using to put it in. He didn't yell or anything, he just knocked the bolt piece out, and we moved on to the next one, and he just told me not to break it. Later that week, after we had put walls up, us kids wanted to mud the walls, and so he let us. I remember one of our group home kids smearing mud all the way across the wall, and dad didn't get mad or anything, he just showed him again and again how to do it. That room would have taken my dad maybe an hour to do on his own, but with us kids' "help" it took all afternoon. However, I would never have remembered that room at all. To this day, I still don't remember what color the walls were, probably pink, but I don't know, but I can tell you that under that primer and that paint, lied a lot of mudding mess ups because one guy took the time to let a bunch of kids try their hand at mudding. I remember those times that my parents spent twice as much time with me and half as much money.

I feel like my dad lives by the quote that "sacrifice [in his case, it was mostly time] is giving up something good for something better."

Josh. Where do you even begin when you have a big brother like Josh. We never went through that phase of hating each other. In fact, I think it was just the opposite. Josh used to go out with me when we were younger and practice throwing the softball so that I could get better. The bump that is a permanent part of my head proves that sometimes he missed the glove. At any rate, he never intentionally tried to hurt me as far as I can remember. My parents told em a story about the day I was born one time, and I think about it quite a bit actually. Apparently, when I was born, my parents called and told Josh that he had another sister, to which he responded "another one?!" My parents informed him that a couple down the hall had just had a boy and asked him if he wanted them to go see if they would be willing to trade me for their son. Josh told them that they could go ahead and bring me home. I often wonder to myself, how many times growing up he had wished they would have traded me. I also often wonder what my parents would have done if he would have told them yes. I mean, I wonder this because I am sure I annoyed my brother a lot growing up, but it was because I looked up to him....a lot! I don't know though, that I have ever when told him that. So Josh, if you are reading this, I have and still do look up to you! I mean, my brother served in our country's military, and that meant giving up seeing his family, his friends, and everything that he knew as normal....for 6 years. I mean, a lot of the men, and a few of the women, in my family have had that insane courage to answer the call of Uncle Sam. I could never do that.....I would miss my family way too much! I commend him, and all the others in my family who have proudly served our country.

This is definitely Josh and I: "Our siblings. They resemble us just enough to make all their differences confusing, and no matter what we choose to make of this, we are cast in relation to them our whole lives long." ~Susan Scarf Merrell

Krystal. No one could ask for a better big sister. We may have fought all the time growing up, but I know that come whatever....she has my back. We don't talk as much as I would like, but when we do....I leave feeling so much better than I did before our talk started. Growing up, there was always something we were fighting over....boys, clothes, car keys, the computer, all of the above. However, compared to her....none of those things mattered. I would give all of them up for her. I mean, we are sisters first and foremost, but I also have the pleasure now of calling her a friend. Plus, she gave me the world's cutest nephew, so who could complain there? This picture of us is old, and I am giving her two pictures, because one is of our backs. I just particularly like this shot, and I love that I got to stand up there with her on her big day! It was a big honor and I cannot imagine anyone else that I would rather stand at the altar with. I found out today, that her and Isaac are coming with to pick me up on Friday! I am excited. Both about going home and about seeing them!

"If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child." -- Linda Sunshine. All I have to say to <---is true that!

Isaac. He isn't a sibling, but he is the child of a sibling, so I am listing him, anyway. Plus, this is my blog, so I do what I want. Isaac has taught me so much already. He is only two. He has taught me about the unconditional love, and about what it means to have childlike faith, and about how important it is to take the time to slow down and enjoy the little things, about how sometimes, no matter how much life hurts us, we go back to the same people and same situations, never really learning our lesson. Isaac loves to be anywhere that people are. He also likes to do what everyone else is doing. This is good and bad. Tasks take ten times longer, but one day, he will have stories to share like what I shared about my childhood. Just the other day, my sister sent me a picture of him with a tool in his hand because he was helping grandpa (my dad) to fix my car. Anyway, Isaac loves to be outside and gets really excited every single time he gets to go out, not matter the weather. Anyway, we have a cat named Twix and she has claws, that being said, he always tries to play with her. If there is one thing that cat hates more than other cats, it's people. Yet he continually goes back to her and tries to play with her, even though she tries to bat at him with her clawed paws. I think about how many times I do that in my life. I go back to the same friends and the same situations that are trying to hurt me emotionally and spiritually, and how God then has to step in and redirect my attention to things that are better and less dangerous for me. I think about how many times he has been sick or hurt or something, and finds his comfort in the arms of those who love him. I realize that I too, need to do this with my spiritual father. I need to find comfort in his arms when life has knocked me down and hurt me. I also think about how active that child is, but when he gets tired, he will often eventually just lay down and cuddle. I love these times with him and they are unfortunately going to begin to get less frequent as he gets older, and I think knowing that is why I cherish them so much. I know that Isaac doesn't know he is teaching me about life and spiritual things, but he is. I pray that one day he will come to love the Lord and will start to intentionally teach spiritual lessons!

"Only an Aunt can give hugs like a mother, can keep secrets like a sister, and share love like a friend.” ~ Spanish Proverb

Finally, Christopher Ryan. I think of all of my siblings, him and I are closest. This probably comes from the many times banding together as the youngest two and defending harmless shenanigans from the older two. One of the first times I remember really truly admiring my little brother, was the same day I raced him home from the town square with blood on his face, smiling all the way....proud to call him my brother. Some boys had picked on me and threw a basketball at me. I brushed it off, but apparently Christopher HAD been listening all the times that my parents said that our brothers are there to look after us. I say this because the next thing I saw was my brother sail through the air to beat up a kid that was older and bigger than him.....in my honor. He wasn't big like he is now. That happened back when we all still called him shorty. More recently, I have loved his very regular facebook messages asking me how my foot and knee felt. Right after surgery, it was a message or a text every single day, and now it is still happening more days than it's not. I love knowing that three hours away, I still cross his mind. I just love seeing him with Isaac. I mean, it is like the biggest one in our family, and one of the smallest. And Isaac loves all the Christopher Ryan attention he gets too! I love the close bond that I have with each of my siblings. They are all so different, yet so much the same!

"Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero." Marc Brown

I will let you all get back to what you were doing before now! If you toughed it out and read this until the end, I want you to know that I am thankful for all of you as well! My prayer and my hope for you is that you are as lucky as I am to have family as amazing as mine. Maybe it is biological family, and maybe it is just those people around you that you that you call family. Either way I want you all to remember this final piece of advice from Lilo and Stitch: "Ohana means family, and family means that no one gets left behind!"

day 6

I was reminded tonight of how thankful I am for CRU. Our CRU division is called Overflow. For those of you who do not know what that is, CRU is a group that is designed to bring Christians together weekly for worship and fellowship. It used to be called Campus Crusade for Christ. Anywho, I was just reminded tonight, abotu how God puts us in positions of authority, in order to get His work done. I am on leadership, and I feel like I am growing so much through weekly meetings with the other leaders and such. For me, as you read a few days ago, college has not been the greatest experience thus far. With that being said, CRU has definitely been a big part of my staying close to God through all that has happened to me. I feel like my faith is constantly being matured through CRU, and I love it. I have loved serving on leadership team for the last two years, and thsi semester I have thoroughly enjoyed being a part of helping to train those who will take our place for leadership next semester, as well as in the years to come. I feel like God has done quite a bit in the hearts of those who join us weekly, and it has made my heart so happy to be a part of that. I hope that I am able to stay active on leadership team next semester, but if not, I will still attend the weekly meetings! I can't wait to see what God has in store for CRU and for HLGU, with both what's left with this leadership team, and in the years to come with the new one! I feel totally comfortable leaving CRU in their capable hands! :)

Now for your Words of Wisdom. With the election day today and the results still coming in, I feel like people could use this reminder. However, for my readers that are not here in the United States, and therefore, not going through our presidential election today, I feel like these words are still a good reminder. They actually come from the book of Romans, and if you have the desire to look up the verse, it is Romans 13: 1-2 "Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves." People....God called us to submit to His authority, but also to respect the authority that has been placed over you here on Earth. I am not saying to go against your beliefs, but I am already tired of seeing things that say "it's the end of the world" and things like that. This is not the attitude that we are called to have as Christians. God determined the election over 2,000 years ago, and if he chooses to end the world in the next four years, He will end it. But I promise you, it will have NOTHING to do with the election. And so, here is a double dose, another word of wisdom perhaps: agreeing to disagree is not compromising your morals or beliefs, it is having the maturity to recognize the differences in people's opinions. And yupp, that right there is a 100% original.....made up by yours truly. So until next time......and I promise, no political debates then. And as a closing thought, be glad you are not my friend Ryan tonight, who just received a 4 page rant about how people need to agree to disagree. And Ry, if you are reading this. I am sorry! Forgive me?

day 5

Today, I would have to say that I am most thankful for physical therapy. It puts me in so much pain, but I know that I will eventually be able to see the difference that it is making. I also feel like God gave me the physical therapist that he did because he knew I would need the encouragement. The physical therapist that I have keeps me so encouraged when I am doing particularly difficult tasks. Often times, I need the most encouragement when I am doing a task that, before getting hurt, was so easy. I mean, you seriously never realize what a luxury it is to have control over all of your toes, or to put on shoes and not be in pain, or to sit "criss-cross applesauce" (or Indian style) on a carpet. I mean, four years ago, all of those tasks were soooooo easy. Now, I feel like if I can do half of them it has been a good day. And you can forget about "criss-cross applesauce"....just throwing that out there. That one is a huge negative ghost rider! To sit that way means to put extreme pressure on a very swollen part of my ankle. Anyway, as these tasks come up during physical therapy, my therapist is always there to give an encouraging word and remind me that I CAN do it. Sometimes it is a "one day, you will look back on this and wonder why the heck it was so hard," and other times it is a "you are so much stronger than the task. Just zone in and go for it." I love these words of encouragement, especially when I feel like I am up against an impossible task.....like turning my foot to the right as I found out today :(. Anyway, it seems like a silly thing to be thankful for, but that is what I am most thankful for today. And just as a funny side note about physical therapy: I had to go to therapy for this ankle two years ago when I fell off the stage. When I went back this time, I ended up with the same physical therapist....AND he remembered me! It is nice that he gets to see the progression over time. Anyhow, that is all for tonight. I apologize that this one is fairly short, and will be picture-less, but a) I don't have any pictures of physical therapy, and b) I have to teach at 8:00 AM tomorrow, and it is past 11.

Words of Wisdom for tonight: "Don't be so afraid of failure that you don't try!"-Author Unknown. First off, I seem to have a lot of "author unknown" quotes up there on that wall. Secondly, I feel like I tell myself this every time I have to try something new with my ankle. Let it be a new brace that I am not sure will help, a new exercise that I am totally convinced is going to hurt more than help, or even coming up with lesson plans to teach my first graders. The possibility of failure is all around, but the probability of God's success is also always around! so next time you think you can't do something, remind yourself that "you should not be so afraid of failure that you don't try." That's right, the author is unknown, so I just rephrased their quote! :p

thankfulness, day 4

today, I would have to say that I am super thankful for music. It speaks the words that I cannot, or am too afraid, to say. I feel like I really connect with music. I listen to all kinds of music and so I am not just talking about one genre or band either. I mean today, I have listened to Ingred Michaelson, Jonny Diaz, Rascal Flatts, Isaac Russell, and right now Taylor Swift is playing. I love that I have such a wide array of music loves. Some songs are serious, some are sad, some are silly, and some just are what they are. I do not know what to say about music other than the fact that I love it and I am so thankful I have it to listen to while I work on homework, clean, or just lay and read. The picture below is the lyrics to a song that I have been listening to quite frequently, it is an empowering song. Fits right in with my never give up attitude from yesterday!

Also it is silly, but I am also super thankful for Command strips. They have allowed me to decorate and re-decorate my dorm room easily. Look at that, tonight you got a two for one special....although one really has nothing to do with the other....oh well!

Your word of wisdom for this evening is: "Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, and flows from Heaven to the soul." Author Unknown

an attitude that's pleasent to have! :) day 3

ok, so today, I would have to say that I am so thankful for that "go after what you want and don't back down no matter what" attitude that my parents have encouraged for as long as I can remember. They have always stood behind my dreams too, no matter how crazy....which is awesome. But that is a post for another day! :) Anyhow, now back to my attitude that I love so much! To truly understand what I mean, we shall take a walk through my college years thus far.

This is me a few short days before getting gall bladder surgery. I look good, but see here, truth is, I didn't know I was days away from getting my gall bladder taken out. All I knew was that I was sick quite a bit, and that over break I was going to see a gall bladder surgeon for his opinion on whether or not I needed my gall bladder out. I knew it was a possibility, not that it was for sure going to happen. The brownies were because I passed my Swisher final with a 92%....that was my history final, and I still managed to not pass the class. I mean technically I did, but I have to have a C in order to pass and I only got a D+.....yes, even after that grade on the final. Anyway, I had my gall bladder out 4 days before Christmas, but still returned to school with a "Satan get behind me" attitude. I managed to keep this attitude the following semester as I dealt with masses appearing in my small intestine and no real knowledge as to what they were....on my part, or the doctor's. Eventually they went away and haven't come back yet.....*knocks on wood* I still managed through all of this to keep a smile on and tell myself "Satan get behind me....I WILL finish this year!" and I did. I may not have passed History, but other than that....I was good. And I was signed up in the fall for attempt two. And I was determined over the summer to study for the class and pass it! (oh, and if you are still wondering, I did get to celebrate Christmas just fine. My brother is in the military and didn't come home till New Year's Eve, so that is when we did our Christmas. I as pretty healed by that point. 4 days or so away from getting the stitches out.)

My plans to study all summer were halted by major news. My sister and Chris were expecting a child. By time this news settled in, I had more news that had to sink in....they were getting married and they had chosen a date....July 10....that was roughly 8 weeks away and we had to get busy. I practically spent that whole summer until July in Hobby Lobby. So many little projects we did to make that day perfect, and you know what.....that is exactly what it was...it was perfect. I can't think of a bigger honor than standing up there next to my sister on her big day! I feel like that picture up there is perfect in so many ways. Not only is it me and my big sister, but it shows the love that we had for someone who would've loved to have been there....I really missed my grandma Duncan that day. Along with my daddy's grandparents. I retreated to Montana for a bit after the wedding. And by that, I mean I left four days after and stayed until about a week or two before school started for me here at college.

I went back to school my sophomore year promising myself that it would HAVE To better than surgery. I was a team leader and so I had a group of new freshman to direct in the ways of campus life. I made it through New Student Orientation, and it was right into Welcome Week.....and the best thing about Welcome Week is $5 concert tickets. And we are not talking about bands no one has heard of either, that year we had Abandon. Anyway, as a member of student activities, I offered to help set up for the concert. It went great until they put down that freaking extension cord. Long story short, I tripped over it. My friend was a paramedic and told me that I needed to go to the hospital and get it checked out. I refused and so he told me he would drop it if i walked on it. He wouldn't make me go. Just to spite him....I walked on it.....after a bit.....all the way back to my dorm. After realizing that he was fighting a losing battle and I wasn't going to the ER, he finally settled for me wrapping it in an Ace Bandage and checking it again the next morning. we wrapped it and I went up to my room.....on the third floor. with no elevator. It was in that moment that I truly decided.....I really didn't think this semester was going to be better. I held out hope and drifted off to sleep in more pain than I ever remember being in in my life! I woke up the next morning and even though it still hurt, I mustered up enough stubbornness to walk and not even act like it hurt. It wasn't until the next day when I woke up and couldn't put pressure on it, or move my toes...that I decided to go get it checked out. Next thing I know.....fast forward 17 weeks or so.....and I am just making it out of a walking boot. I still lived on the third floor the whole time. Even on crutches! I was so proud of myself. And in the midst of all that, my nephew (that baby you heard about earlier) decided to make his world debut about 5 weeks too early and around 5 pounds too light. The middle pictures are him. You can see how light he was and those things in the bottom pictures are Krystal and Chris' wedding bands. That gives you a visual as to just how tiny he was. Later on that day we got him to unball his fists and we had them up around him upper arm. Remember how this was supposed to be the good semester.....not so much! But Christmas break was coming, and that meant new surgeons who would hopefully actually figure out what was wrong with my foot. That 17 weeks ended because I got a different kind of brace from a different doctor. Eventually, sometime that summer....the pain just went away. March that school year leant itself to the experience of my first accident. yeah.....the good year will definitely be my junior year! I mean, it has to get better eventually right?!? That summer, my cousin got married, then I retreated to Montana again, and when I came home, I got kidnapped by Chris, then stayed out till the wee hours of the morning, came home, went to South Carolina, came home and had to get ready to go back to school in around a month or so. Before you get kinda confused. I wanted to assure you that he ended up just fine. That was him and I this past summer after I had had surgery. That is how you know I love you all..I put picture on the internet from before I have gotten ready for the day. But hey, that is what morning cuddle time is all about. I wish I could wake up and cuddle with him every day!

I went back with the thought that again....this was going to be the good semester. (I really need to stop doing that). It should have been some sort of indication when I came back to school sick from all the rapid weather changes that the summer had held, that had given way to the sickness, that I just really couldn't seem to kick. Anyhow, it went pretty well until a family emergency came up, that left me in Hannibal, and the family in Odessa. I knew there was nothing I could do, and so I just constantly told myself. Stand up....never back down! so then crisis was adverted and my best friend invited me to go to a concert to meet a band that I had never heard of, and all it was going to cost me was the use of a bedroom at my house in Kansas City. I was game and this started the craziness of becoming sisters to a group of rockstars, and the fun bond that comes with sharing BWW at 2 AM in a parking lot with them! Then it was time for Young Christian's Weekend. and I should have known that something was going to go wrong. I mean, this is me we are talking about, and life was just starting to slow down. I came back with a brace on my foot and that was that, my fate was set in stone. I blogged about the whole journey a few months ago, you can check it out here. Anyhow, I ended up with foot surgery, and my projected recovery date was a week before school started. I did get to go to Montana but it was only for a short while, but in those few days we were there, I got to see both my Huntley family and my Hays family. It was glorious! Then even better, while I was recovering from surgery, little miss Hope (my cousin) decided to make her world debut! Granted, when my family went to stay at my aunts in order to go see her when she was born, we started a minor plague and then no one got to see her....no big. You can read about that terrible, but somewhat hilarious visit here and here. Anyhow, we did all end up meeting her. Well, most of us did. She ended up sick in the hospital though and was there when I left for school. In the midst of that, my foot seemed pretty insignificant and I kinda felt like getting put into two shoes was far less significant. But alas I returned to school in TWO shoes! something that had been long awaited since about May or so when I got put back in my walking boot. If you are keeping track, this makes surgery number 2 in my college years.

Figuring that college just could not get any more.....interesting we will say, I returned to school to start my senior year of college. My two shoe joy faded all too quickly and I was put back in my boot, and I found this out the same week I was home for Little Miss Hope's funeral. She lost her fight all too soon, but for an instant think she gave up fighting voluntarily! And even in death, she donated organs to keep other families from the same fate. I wear a green "Donate Life" bracelet in her honor. My teacher doesn't like that I teach with it on, but hey....there are some fight I am willing to fight....and wearing this bracelet is one of those fight. and ummmm....I just really don't care if you think it's silly. But at any rate, while I was home for her funeral I was back to the doctor for my ankle, and ended up at the doctor for my knee which had been giving me really bad pain. I got an MRI done and that rendered nothing definitive, but gut feeling told the doctor that something was going on. He scheduled, and then we rescheduled, an exploratory surgery. I had surgery over fall break and since then have been recovering. I am effectively stumping the foot surgeon with my unhealing ankle, but I am in physical therapy now, so we will see if that starts to help soon. hopefully it does because I could really use something going right. At any rate. I still have the never stand down and never back down mentality. So for now, the surgery total stands, and hopefully stays, at 3 surgeries during college, and so far, not a great semester to date. Oh well, my God is good and He is looking over me and that makes everyday a good day. And I will continue to go through days with a smile on my face and a smile on my heart because you know, it could always be worse!

oh, and mom and dad.....thanks for the "go after what you want and don't back down no matter what" attitude! That right there is the only reason I can say College graduating class of 2013....here I come!

And now: for your Word of Wisdom! "My past did not define me, destroy me, deter me, or defeat me. All it is guilty of is strengthening me!" Hope that gives you all the same feeling of empowerment as it did me!