Being crafty....again!: Day 77/365

I made an art project tonight! I was looking for something to do with all my concert photos and ticket stubs and autographs from college! I made them into a poster, and once it is finished I will frame it and hang it up! I really like it and I like that now those things are doing more than just sitting in a box.....eventually, I may put them in my scrapbook, but I don't know.....we will have to wait and see....but this works for now! Speaking of scrapbooks.....I need to make a folder for pictures I need to print to update my scrapbook! I may work on that this weekend after I get my homework done! Hopefully soon, I can design Isaac's scrapbook! This is one of the pics I need to print to finish my poster. Then it is just finishing putting autographs on and then it will get put up and I will put a pic up on Facebook and likely on here!

My least favorite part of college: day 76/365

For anyone who has ever gone to this school....I am sure you think I am talking about the caf food. For those of you who have visited and are like "I didn't think the food was bad"....there is a reason that we all got excited about visit days....and it was not fighting through crowds of people to get to class, having nowhere to sit in the caf, and potential Tojans in our classes.....just saying! Seriously though, the caf is awesome this year, so it is totally not what I am talking about! No....the part I am talking about is homework! The first two days of classes (Tuesday and Wednesday) were the days to simply go over our syllabus and I only had one class I had homework for....which was awesome! Sadly, now I have homework for all of them and the "fun" gets to start....on the plus side...tomorrow is Friday....and we have a three-day weekend!! :)

That didn't last long: Day 75/365

So this whole wearing two shoes thing didn't last long.....less than a week actually! I woke up this morning and the ice thing didn't help.....even rotating like they had me doing right after surgery. :( When I was waking up last night, I didn't think it was getting better, I just didn't think it was getting worse! However, when I woke up my ankle was HUGE! I couldn't put my shoe on! It was swollen to far out to the side for my tennis shoes, and swollen too far on the top to wear my canvas shoes, so I called the surgeon, and he put me back in my boot.....for at least two weeks. At the end of that, I am supposed to try walking again and call if I run into problems....I did expect recovery to be kinda hard....I did not expect all of this....I just want to be better....but enough moping.....I have many things to feel blessed about! Just need to remember those things on the days where I fell hopeless and tired of this!! Anywho, hope everyone has a pretty good rest of the day and good days to come! Nap time for me!! I love college!

My last first day as a student: day 74/365

Ok, so today was my last first day as a student.....well my last for awhile. I am sure I will end up having to go back to school at some point for whatever reason! Anywho.....classes went ok today, but I am so sore from walking all over. All of my classes are on the opposite side of campus than the class before them! On the plus side, my teacher for my night-type class (one that goes from 2:40-5:10) told us that the probability of us ever having to stay in there until 5:10 is slim to none.....I could get used to that! We also had our first day of CRU tonight, which we renamed to Overflow! It went really well and I really like our new leaders Lee and Emily! We have a new format for the night and so I foresee it going really well this year! I am excited to see what God will do with Overflow! We also had our dorm meeting tonight, which was the longest of the year (and still only lasted 15-20 minutes) and then a 5-10 minute wing meeting.....I'll take it! At any rate, I am really tired and my foot is really swollen, so I am going to go to go lay down, I have along night ahead of me....going to wake up to ice-on-ice-off in hour intervals to try and get the swelling down! I don't know that I took a picture of my foot on anything other than my phone, so no picture today! Sorry!

Making new friends: day 73/365

Today at lunch.....I made a new friend! well we all did....I got to lunch after everyone else and there was this kid there that I didn't know....so I sat down and introduced myself and found out that his name is Luke. After lunch I had to keep reminding myself that he hasn't always been in our group of friends......it feels like we have known him for a long time! Anyway....this is short, and I feel like this is the beginning of a long, solid friendship with Luke Turner! I will add a picture of him later since I don't have one now!

Ok, this was added later because I didn't have a picture of him....this one is from when we all played Taboo the other day! And in completely unrelated news: classes start tomorrow! It will be my last first day of school! :)

Mixed feelings: Day 72/365

Ok, so I moved into college today and mom, dad and Josh helped me get all my stuff down to my room! About he time we were finishing, my friend Amber came over and Aimee show up! My parents are driving to Iowa to visit my brothers and Josh has to work tomorrow morning, and so the plan has been that Amber and Aimee are going to help me unpack so that my parents can hit the road. So we unpacked for a little bit, then went and got dinner. I feel like I should use the term unpacking very loosely because I feel like we just moved totes around from one area to another! I mean, stuff did get unpacked and all that, but I feel like we moved things around more than we unpacked any of it! After unpacking for a bit, we were hungry and so we decided to forgo eating pizza and go to a little treasure of a place we like to call Mi Mexico. Many, many Sunday afternoons were spent at Mi Mexico for lunch! It seems that it is just a place that brings our friend circle together! Anywho, this is my senior year, and in some ways I am felling right now are excited, terrified, ecstatic, and sad.....all at the same time! I am excited because....well....it is my senior year of college! I went to college straight out of high school and that means that I have started school every fall for 17 years, 18 if you count preschool! I don't know a time in life not starting school as a student in the fall. Of course, as a future teacher, I will still start school every fall, but I am sure it is different when you are the teacher versus being the student! However, those 17-18 years have made the thought of not doing that a little bit terrifying. I don't do unknown things very well. Right now....life outside school is pretty unknown! I think that I know in my heart that I will do fine, but the thought is still a little bit disheartening! I was ecstatic to come back to school and see my friends and the fact that we will all go our separate ways this May, and that some of us are not coming back this next year.....that is the very sad part! I hate endings and finalities....always have, always will!

oh! and for those of you who know me, you will find this fact unbelievable.....I only moved one piece of my furniture in my room! It makes more sense for my dresser to be in the closet! That way....all my clothes are together right there!! :)

Prayer is a good thing!: day 71/365

Tonight, as I got to see my family gather outside the hospital and pray for a dear little girl that we all love, I was reminded of the power of prayer. Various family and friends stood hands interlocked and did the one thing that could save this little girl! We prayed to God, asking Him to do a very big miracle in a very little girl! It was amazing, and I loved being able to just gather as one group! I think it kind of re-energized everyone. I know for me it gave me the ability to go back to school with a little clearer head and such! Which is awesome! I mean, as a family...we whole-heartedly believe in the power of prayer, and we believe that our God is bigger than any struggle we ever face in this life. A little under two years ago (in some ways it seems so much longer, and in other ways so much shorter) my family called on prayer warriors all over to pray for little Isaac! We saw God move in a wonderful way there! I have no doubt that my God is way bigger than this little girl's problems! While we were up there though, I was reminded of two things: when at a hospital, there are good moments and there are bad moments. When we first arrived, there was a kid out playing on the playground who hadn't been able to go outside for awhile and was so happy to sit in his wheelchair and look at the birds and butterflies, and to smell the flowers. I mean, we got to witness a moment in his life that had been long anticipated! However, while we were there, we were also reminded in a big way that this was a hospital. The life flight flew over and landed on the roof, which means that a child was in trouble. Life flights don't just land on Children's Hospitals for the heck of it. While my cousin's wife was playing and singing, there were also sirens going...So tonight in your prayers, lift up not only my family, but every family with a loved one in that waiting room. We feel the prayers, and I think that until you feel the power of prayers going up all over the world, you don't really know the feeling of being totally confident that things are going to work out! As a family, we still have days where we lose a little peace about the situation....but at the same time, there are days that more than make up for that minor lapse in peace! Keep praying and one day I will try to blog about what is going on....maybe when I have more answers than questions! Until then, hug your babies and hold them close, and say a prayer for babies and their families all over the countries trying to find that last glimmer of faith to get them through the day. I know today, I found mine in a group of people...with interlocked hands....praying to a God...with faith that could move mountains!

I will try to put up a blog tomorrow, but if I can't put it on here, than I will write it and put it up the next day, and just manually change the date! I don't know if my internet will be hooked up before Monday, and so Monday may even be a stretch....stay tuned and find out! You all rock! :)

Remembering Legends: day 70/365

y parents celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary yesterday, and in holding true to tradition, I battled the siblings to see who could tell them "Happy Anniversary" first. If you are my little brother, it is a "Happy big word I can't spell" message, but the message is the same never the less. Anywho, 25 years is a long time to make it, and it is even more awesome knowing that they are still just as, if not more, in love as they were the day they got married. I think, when it comes to milestone moments in people's life, it is soooo important to remember those who got them there. I can honestly say without a shadow of a doubt, that my Great-Grandpa and Great-Grandma Cross are one of the main reasons that my parents have the marriage that they do. They were married for right under 65 years before my Great-Grandma passed away. Even in the small amount of time that I knew them....one thing was for certain: they were so in love and nothing would ever change that. Even after my Great-Grandma got sick, my Great-Grandpa never stopped taking care of her! My great-grandma passed away in 2003, and I remember being at the funeral and being sad that she was gone, but being absolutely devastated to think about my great-grandpa having to live life without her. You see, I don't really remember much of my great-grandma except that my great-grandpa loved her. A lot of what I know about her comes from stories that my parents have told me, or stories that my great-grandpa told me. She died when I was 12 years old, and we weren't up to see them too much before that that I can remember. They lived in Roundup, Montana and so it wasn't like we could just pack up the car and go see them for the weekend. I faintly remember meeting her when I was 7 years old, but beyond that, I do not really remember her. It sounds awful, but I just don't. My great-grandpa, however, I do really remember. I started going to Montana for the summers a couple years before he died, and we always made it a point to go and see him a few times throughout the summer. I went to Montana to travel with my aunt and uncle (my dad's brother) to help them with their concession stand and also help to take care of their four kiddos. Just a kind of all around extra set of hands. Anywho, in the couple summers that I went out there, I felt like him and I became pretty close. He passed away 2 days after I graduated from High School in 2009. At his funeral, I was definitely sad, but I also remember a small part of me being at total peace. He was with my great-grandma again, and I knew that I would see him again. I won't see him on this side of Heaven, but I really do believe that I will see him on the other side of Heaven. I just know in my heart that they are up in Heaven together, just rejoicing the fact that they are together again! In December of 2010, I went in and had my heart set on getting a tattoo in their memory. I however, am not creative....AT ALL, and so I knew that the designing would have to be left to Larry at Bootlegger. Dad went in with me and I love how much help he was able to be. I knew that I wanted a tattoo to remember them by that was based off of things that I knew about them and so I just went in with a list of attributes that I remembered about them. I knew I wanted to incorporate in their love for each other, and also to make known how amazing it was with how long they had been married. The only thing I had to look up that I didn't know was their wedding year. I thought it was 1940....but I was off a year.....oops! Regardless though, I hope to one day have a marriage that is even half as good as their was. If I had that, I would still have so much love....more than I would ever know what to do with!

learning to walk: day 69/365

The journey of my ankle actually starts roughly two-ish years ago when I was setting up for an Abandon concert at the school. I tripped over an extension cord on the stage and fell off the front. My foot pivoted and I fell on my ankle/lower leg, resulting in what was later deemed to be a sprain. Right after I fell, I limped back to my dorm (which was on the third floor I might add....with no elevator) and my roommate ran up to our room and got me an ace bandage and I kept it wrapped, iced and elevated. The next day it was hurting really bad and at that point, I still hadn't seen a doctor and so I went to next morning and that was when they told me it was a sprain. I was told to keep doing what I was doing, and to come back in a week if it still hurt. I was back after four days or so with a lot more pain and the inability to move my toes, which is what I am trying to do in the above picture. The doctors at ambulatory care put me in a stir-up type brace and put me on crutches and scheduled me an appointment with a surgeon. I went to see the surgeon and he ordered an MRI.

The MRI showed evidence of a high ankle sprain, (an injury common when one soccer player's cleat grips the ground, and another soccer player accidentally lands on their lower leg/ankle) and so they put me in a walking boot and started physical therapy. They also kept me on the crutches for about 6-8 weeks after that. Little did I know, I would spend 17 weeks or so in the walking boot. It was awful and I didn't like it at all. I had to spend pretty much 24 hours a day in that thing. I was only allowed to take it off to shower. During that time, guess who took about 5 showers a day?! Yeah, that's right.....this girl! It got a little better when I got the chance to ditch the crutches. This was my first time on crutches, and they resulted in many, many times of stumbling onto my hurt foot and resulted in one time of doing the splits....darn crutching in the rain! After I finally got out of the boot, I thought that maybe that would be the end of it all, but I quickly had pain back and so I went to a doctor here since I was home on Christmas break. They gave me a lace up support thing for my foot and a brace for my knee that had started hurting in the process of all of this madness. I was in those until right before summer, and then I was released to take them off and see how it went. After that, it caused off and on pain, but I was able to keep it at bay and usually take care of it without having to go to the doctor...until Young Christian's Weekend in Branson thsi past April!

While we were in Branson in April 2012, after a day at Silver Dollar City, my feet hurt. It didn't worry me at all though, because we had just walked around SDC all day and so I expected it to be tired and possibly sore. I went to bed and woke up the next day and got ready to go then walked to the Ampitheater to watch one of my favorite Christian Bands (Sidewalk Prophets) play! Since my ankle hurt, we found a place to sit right up at the top so that I didn't have to climb stairs or anything like that. So we watched the concert and then the Bible Study portion started and we all sat down. My ankle started to swell and so I got Britt's attention to see if Matt could go and get me some ice. Matt did come back with ice, but also with EMT's for the park. They got me out of my seat and to the stairs you come down to enter the ampitheater. After questioning me about any recent injury, any known trauma to it in the last couple days, other things along those lines, they felt it would be best for me to go to the urgent care in Branson. Matt and Britt offered to take me since they had their car there and we began to make a plan. When all was said and done, my options were to hop all the way down to the bottom of the ampitheater so they could drive me to parking, or to hop the half mile or so through the park and then to parking. I opted for the first option and a paramedic went on one side and Matt was on the other. I hopped down 87 stairs I believe, on one foot, during a Bible Study....talk about distraction. They got me to Matt and Britt's car and then Matt and Britt met Beth at the church bus to get my bag. They took me to urgent care in Branson, and urgent care deemed it Tendinitis, and put me in a stirrup-type brace and prescribed 800 mg of Ibuprofen three time a day. They told me to go see a doctor again in 5-7 days. Matt, Britt, and I left to head back for Hannibal. We got home and little did I know, the "fun" was just beginning. I was coming home for my birthday the following weekend and so I called to ask the doctor what he wanted me to do, seeing as it was Easter weekend. He asked me if I could be home in time to get x-rays on Thursday and then he could see me Friday. To do this, I had to skip my after noon classes on Thursday, and so I set out for home to get x-rays done.

I showed up at the hospital to get x-rays done, (my doctor recently moved to a new facility and doesn't have an x-ray machine on sight, but his office is across the "street" from the hospital) and they give me a "fall risk" bracelet since I have a leg injury. I giggled and asked them if they gave it to me because of the leg injury or because of the fact that the next day was my 21st birthday. She chuckled and left it loose enough that I could slip it on and off (at this point in time it is in my memory box to go in my scrapbook). I went to the doctor the next day and he told me that unfortunately, the x-rays didn't show anything, and that meant having no idea what was wrong. He told me to keep wearing the brace until I was done with the school year (4-5 weeks) and if I was still having issues, to come back in. So *spoiler alert* I had to go back in, and he sent me out to a foot specialist.

I started going to a podiatrist and the first thing we tried was to tape my ankle and see if the pain could be helped by holding it in the proper position. We learned at this doctor's appointment, after x-raying the TOP of my foot, not just the side, that I was born with a foot condition. My toe bones are curved, and that is what causes me to walk with my foot turned in, which in turn hits my ankle bones together on the outside part of my foot. For this reason, he felt that taping it into the proper condition would help. It did help, but I had problems right after I took the tape off. The tape stays on for five days and then you remove it for at least two days and go back. After I went back, we decided to give the taping another try and the second time it didn't help at all. The first time though, I had just come out of packing and moving home from school. to doing very little walking. I considered the tape a bust and made a plan to go back to that foot specialist. I ended up having big disagreements with his course of action and looked for another doctor. That is when we remembered that my brother had gone to a foot specialist in the KC area and had a really good experience! So I looked up the information and made an appointment. From the first appointment, I knew I had made the right decision because when opening the door to the radio, I was greeted by the sound of "Positive, Encouraging K-Love." At the first appointment, we went over what I had done already as far as treatment went and he took a few x-rays. He ordered and MRI and I had that done the following day. At this point in time, it is right before the fourth of July, but I went back to the doctor right before the fourth to get the results of the MRI and to determine a course of action. After the doctor's appointment I was scheduled for surgery two weeks from the appointment date. I started preparing for surgery and packing for school! He put me in a walking boot from that point until surgery.

After surgery I was put into a soft cast and the real work began. I can home with strict orders to not put any weight on it at all. So I was stuck back on crutches. Thankfully this time, I was a little more graceful with them!

I went back to the doctor the Monday after surgery for him to check out the incision and to make sure it wasn't infected. This was the first time I got to see the cut and it was totally awesome in a really disgusting way! At this point, I was put back into the soft cast type thing and told still I was to not put weight down on it.

I left and that night started having intense pains in the back of my ankle and when I called, they told me to come back in. Turns out, that the ankle mold thing of the soft cast was pushing weird on the back of my ankle, and so I was taken out of that and down to just the athletic type wrap and gauze that was under it. I was in that for around a week and then went back to get checked out again for a routine post-op check-up. This was the projected date to get my stitches out.

When I got all unwrapped and such, he tried to take a few of the stitches out and determined that I needed another week with them. So he wrapped my foot up again, this time with smiley face wrap and I was out of there, back on my crutches. I still wasn't able to walk and school was coming closer and closer. Thankfully, I didn't have anything I had to get done before I moved back in. I mean, I was packed for school and I had gotten help to move in at school and help to move out here.

When I went back, all the stitches were taken out. I meant to ask him how many were in there, but I forgot. :( anywho, after the stitches came out, I was told that I could start walking with the walking boot after a couple of days. I was ecstatic. I had been impatiently waiting to walk since the day I left the hospital and all I had was a couple of days left. I scheduled an appointment for a week or two weeks later, I honestly don't remember how long ago the stitches came out. There is a lot going on. Anyway, I started walking and it has gone well so far.

Today when I went in for my final check-up, he told me I could take the boot of and start walking with two shoes! I was so excited! I came home and the very first thing I did was to find and put on the mate to the left shoe I was wearing! If you know me, you know that the first thing I usually do when I get inside the house is to take my shoes OFF! I was just too excited about being able to wear two shoes now, that I am still wearing them two hours after I got home. I did have a moment of worry as I took that first step and almost ate the floor. I guess I was just so used to walking with the boot on, that I didn't know how to adjust when I didn't have it on. No worries though, I didn't fall and I quickly recovered and all's well now! The doctor is also very happy with how my incision is healing, so that is also a good thing. Also, today I found a tattoo that I want to get to cover the scar after a bit. I am going to definitely give it time to heal and heal completely, but I want to do something with it at some point in the future! As long as walking continues to go well, I will be out of the walking boot for good! If I have problems with it here in the next couple weeks though, I will have to go back into it for a while, which would definitely not be very much fun. Now if only we could get this knee taken care of! The doctor believes that it will help to get out of the boot, and he also thinks that when I get orthodics (one final-ish step to recovering) for the flat footed-ness, that those will also help it to feel better! Until then, I just have to try and tough it out a bit and see if it starts to feel better on its own! Until next time, I bid you farewell, and leave you with a picture of my incision that is "healing up very nicely." Only time in my life that I have EVER gotten complimented on my feet. lol

Words of Wisdom: day 68/365

Ok, so I was getting help from my cousin, a fellow blogger, and he told me I should write about my first crush. You see, I only ever remember having one crush (Travis Tedford who played Spanky in The Little Rascals). I mean, I know I have had other crushes, but I either a) don't remember their names (that sounds bad) or b) there is a possibility that they read this, so there is no way in heck I am going to write about them! And see, I mean beyond writing that I had a crush on Travis Tedford, I can't really write anything more. I was like 5 or 6 at the time and I just remember thinking....if boys didn't have cooties, I would totally hold his hand. I might even share my pudding cup with him. so beyond that....I got nothing. So I am going to write about an on-going love affair that I have with other people's words.

When I moved off to college in 2009, I wanted a way to remember all the important things that people have told me. So I grabbed myself a package of notecards and started to write down quotes that I affectionately called my Words of Wisdom. I hung them all on my wall behind my bed and went to them when I was having problems. Quotes came from all over and pretty soon, girls on my floor were leaving sticky notes with quotes on them on my door, or leaving notes asking if they could just come and spend some time with the wall after a tough day. I loved that I was able to help others as I helped myself. So some of the quotes were things that people told me, some came from sermons, some came from things I saw online, and some are my very own! The words of wisdom have become an on-going thing that I do in my dorm room every year. I add to it as I get new quotes and I have quite the collection right now! I don't know what I will do with them when I graduate, but I will keep adding to them....maybe an office wall or something. At this point in time, I think I easily have three hundred quotes....it really is an addiction to find the right words for every occasion and situation!

One of THOSE girls: day 67/365

Ok so this is going to be another one of those random thoughts things, but that's alright. Lots on my mind right now...so random blog fits in with random everythign going on right now. But nevermind that, the real fact of the matter is that I have finally embraced the fact that I am one of THOSE girls.

Truth is...I have spent 21 years becoming, and perfecting being THAT girl. The girl that is a little different, the one that wore her individuality on her sleeve (well I guess more on my finger but whatever). I was always that girl in my group of friends who has every intention of waiting until I'm married. This picture shows a rare moment that my purity ring wasn't on my finger since I got it two years ago. It wasn't like I didn't make it known before that. I just didn't wear a ring on my finger because I had issues with wearing a TLW ring without having gone through the program. The ring only came off for this picture because it was my passive-aggressive response to a guy (who I really liked a lot I might add) who told me I would never get a guy if I wore that on my finger all the time. I am pretty sure the picture was text to him with a message that read to the effect of: "I don't want A guy...I want THE guy. And trust me...he won't care about the ring...or the pledge." I also want to point out that I was obviously committed to abstinence long before TLW....the one card is dated October of 2004....it was my first abstinence card and I have carried it every day since. It doesn't keep the temptation away....it just reminds me that God has a better plan. He will trade all those nights of "I wish..." for that lifetime of "I am so glad I waited!" I am, and will continue to be THAT girl....until the day I walk down the aisle...at which time, I can lean over and whisper in his ear..."I waited for YOU!"

random post saying random things: day 66/365

ok, life is a little crazy with moving into school and such, and so I am stealing this post from Facebook actually. It was the first day of my "100 day challenge" which stopped almost as quickly as it began. I couldn't do both it and the blog. The blog won out because I found it more important I guess. But I need help....I am having trouble coming up with blog topics....so comment some ideas if you would and I will try to get to them!

A picture of yourself with fifteen facts. 1. I love Jesus, and for some reason....He loves me too! 2. The fastest way to my heart is to be a MAN that stands up…unashamed of his faith…and then lives that out in all areas of his life. 3. My True Loves Waits ring is quite possibly my most prized piece of jewelry. 4. I have only one biological nephew, but I am “Aunt Colee” to many little people. 5. This fall I will start my final year of college! 6. I love coffee...and mountain dew 7. This is a kinda of old picture, but I love it so I used it anyhow! 8. I am 21 years old. 9. Since I am still in school, I still live with my mom and dad (I am the only of 4 that still does). 10. For the first time in 5 years, I am not in Montana right now....stupid foot/ankle thing! 11. I have a condition wrong with my foot that I have had since birth....they found it about 2 months ago....I have had over 100 x-rays done of the area in question.... 12. I work with a youth group at the church I go to in Hannibal during the school year....even though my degree will be Early Childhood and Elementary Education. 13. I really do not want to work in the public school system. I want to open my own center. My center, would mean my rules (within reason). 14. I love to craft and to make things! I got really excited that mom bought me a sewing machine a week or so ago. 15. I have to cuddle up to something when I sleep. Usually it is a stuffed animal of some kind. Lately though…it has just been a pillow.

the window to the soul: day 65/365

Music has this funny way of being so versatile. It can create a mood, destroy a mood, cause a smile, and cause a tear. Music can empower us to do and feel so much more than we thought we were capable of doing. In movies it warns us of danger, and of love, and of sheer happiness. I mean really, imagine with me...your favorite movie scene that contains music; perhaps it's Jaws, or maybe you are more of a Madagascar fan, or maybe you like to let your love junky side show with a little Never Been Kissed. All the best scenes contain music and that music gives us insight as to what will happen. I mean heck, even movies have been made around the significance of music in a person's life (The Last Song is one that comes to the front of the mind due to having just watched it not too long ago, but I am sure there are countless others as well.) Music also has that power to remind us of a time that we wish we could relive over and over again, or that one moment we wish that we could forget, but can't...no matter how hard we try! The song Boogie Woogie Choo-Choo Train by The Tractors will always hold a very special place in my heart. My bad, my sister and I used to dance around to that song every single time it would come on. Krystal and I would sit next to the radio and wait for it, just hoping that dad was with us when we heard it. Her and I still call each other if we hear it on the radio! On the other end of the spectrum, the song Streets of Heaven by Sherri Austin came on and I had to change it, while resisting the urge to burst in to tears! Ironically enough....it skipped to Boogie Woogie Choo-Choo Train! Guess that is God's way of taking care of me. That song won't forever have that effect on me. but for the here and now....it does! Certain songs remind me of certain people...but if they didn't have that effect then record companies would fail. I mean think about it....at one time or another, we have been listening to music and that one song comes on that instantly gives you butterflies, and makes you think of that special someone. However, in the course of an instant, that song can also become the song that wells up so much anger within yourself. I really do believe that music is a window into the life of a person, what they feel, and that music can tell someone all those little things that you are to afraid to say!

gonna miss nights like this: day 64/365

We went over to my sister and my brother-in-law's house the other night to watch a movie. We decided on watching The Hunger Games. First of all, let me admit here, that I sadly have not read the book, but watched the movie. Very rarely do I do this because it ruins the book when I do actually read it! But alas, they had already rented the movie and were dying for us to see it. Besides, I was the only one there who had the desire to read the book before watching the movie who hadn't done so already. So I watched the movie, and let me tell you....I have been on a wild goose chase for the book ever since! I have officially caught the "Hunger Games Fever" and I can't wait to get back and read the books. At first, my plan was to just skip the first book (since I know how it ends) and dive right in and read the second book. However, I feel that I should just start at the beginning and read from the first book....besides, that is the only one I can seem to find anyway. So I am going to go ahead and read the first book while saving money to buy the second book! And then move on to the third book. And don't ask me what team I am....because I have no idea! I had the same issue with any series of books I have read....I can never choose a team! All in all though, I LOVED the movie and I can't wait to start reading!!

The best advice I think I have ever received: day 63/365

I mean....it may not be the BEST advice, but it is definitely good advice and I have told it to myself soooo many times since watching the movie "We Bought A Zoo." That movie was so cute and this quote just kinda stuck with me. I mean, it is so applicable into so many different areas of life. I told it to myself the very first day I stood next to the couch bed with my boot on and stood for the first time without crutches. I was so excited to walk and so scared all at the same time. I hate the crutches, but at the same time, there was a fear of tripping and re-injuring myself, there was the possibility of not being strong enough to walk, but at the same time, there was the hope that it would all be ok and that I would be walking and back to normal in no time. But all that it took was that moment of enough courage to take the first step. So far, so good!

waiting to wear two shoes again!: day 62/365

I go back to the doctor a week from today. I will hopefully be released to drive but I am not sure. My foot is finally starting to feel pretty good, but now my knee is hurting pretty bad and pretty constantly. When I was trying to sleep last night and when I was taking a nap this afternoon, I had a hard time getting comfortable because it hurt to bend it. Then along with that, when I get in a position that is comfortable for my ankle, it hurts my knee, and vice versa. Needless to say, I am not getting much sleep. However, I have been able to start leaving my boot off at night (even though some nights I have to wake up and put it back on :( ) and it seems to help sleeping a bit. I just want to feel better. I mean, I am tired of pasting a smile on and pretending I feel all peachy keen and that I feel fine, when in all actuality, all I want is to go to sleep and wake up when it is healed, and I want to just not hurt....I mean, two years was enough! Can't wait til it all starts feeling better! Hoping to come out of this thing soon!

grrrr....trying to get stuff done: day 61/365

This is how I feel today. Today marks call number 8 to the school regarding financial aid. I am trying to get a hold of them and see what I do if there has been a change in our family's income since filling out FAFSA, and what to do if we see an upcoming significant change as well. I mean, I know that the school personnel are busy and all that, but don't tell me that a representative will call me tomorrow and then get an attitude when I call back two days later wondering why no one has called me back. Or have me leave a question with them so that when they call back they can give me some answers! I mean seriously people....I am just trying to get my ducks in a row before I go back to school. They are making this kind of difficult...but I mean, I wouldn't really know what to do if things went according to plan most days!

cars, cars everywhere!: day 60/365

so we went and picked up a car today for my cousin! she is soooooo excited about it! I was excited that we got to see Betty and unfortunately we had to see Dean too. I don't mean that in a bad way, all I mean by that is that Dean was at work and so that meant we had to see him because five minutes after we pulled out of the driveway, the car threw three lights....so we went to go see Dean. He looked at it though and fixed the issue! So it's all good and we still drove it home...and by that I mean that Krystal drove it home, I am still not released to drive yet! The Jetta also chose this exact point in time to act up and not want to shift....all the way home! But its whatever....it is at Krystal's now and dad is going to go and pick it up tomorrow! My poor dad went from no cars to three cars to fix....he is going to have a busy couple days off this weekend! My car broke a bearing and made the timing go out....in case you were wondering....totally fixable and I will have my car back for school!!

my car: day 59/365

got a call from my cousin today that my car just stalled and died about 25 minutes or so from home. If you know my car at all, you know that it has a few fun little quirks about starting and by that, I mean a lot! I went to start and and it start, even with all the tricks.....dad thinks it might be the distributor, but we are not quite sure. I don't know what I will do if my car is down and out for the count. I love that car....and I don't have time to replace it right now, nor do I have the money! And now we are on the lookout for a car for my cousin. One of mom's friends restores and sells cars and so hopefully the car we are looking at of his works out and we can go pick it up tomorrow! I am hoping dad is able to get my car home tomorrow and that it isn't anything serious!

Olympics: day 58/365

I move into school two weeks from today. I am so excited, but also so very nervous. It is my senior year and so I am ready to just be done with it and move on with life! In other news.....Team USA won at the Olympics overall. I missed the closing ceremony though! I am so glad I decided to watch this time around though. I usually don't watch the Olympics, and I didn't catch it all this time, but I will definitely be trying to watch them in the future! Sorry this is short, I am tired and ready to go back to bed!

Meeting Hope: day 57/365

I got to see my Grace Lou today, as well as meeting her baby sister Hope! The school supply drive yesterday went awesome and family pictures turned out excellent. We ordered some, but I don't know if we are going to cancel our order or not. It was just hard looking at pictures and choosing pictures that just have mom, dad and I, without the other three siblings. Anywho, Grace was so much fun during the baby shower today, and Hope was the most perfect little girl ever. I fell in love with her instantly and I just love seeing Grace with her baby sister. I also got to hold little Hope and I just seemed like for those moments the rest of the world just melted away. and then to top it all off, Grace just hung out with me for a little bit and watched Tom and Jerry. I love little moments like those! Check out this cute picture of Grace, Hope, and myself...sooooo cute!!!

wanting a break: day 56/365

I am so excited...I get to see my Gracie Lou tomorrow, and I get to meet baby Hope. The school supply drive went well today and later on we have family pictures! After family pictures we are headed to Kansas so that we can go to the baby shower tomorrow. My ankle is hurting quite a bit more today...maybe I need to slow down a bit. I hate this! I hate being in pain and I need to just remember that this is the healing process! It isn't just being in pain like it was before....it is the downhill slope to recovering! Me and my Grace Lou at her second b-day party.....almost a year ago!

walking: day 55/365

I have been doing more packing these last few days, and I think other than last minute things that I can't pack until the morning I leave (car keys, phone charger, phone, etc) I am finally done. I also want to go through and remake my bed in my bedroom and finish folding my clothes. That way, when I come home from school, it will be clean. I am going to move to the back bedroom so I don't have to do stairs to and from bed. Anyhow...walking is going fairly well. I did the school supply drive today at the church and I loved how many families we were able to help! I love the feeling of helping people who truly need it! One more day of the drive tomorrow!

I am running out of crafty titles: day 54/365

I am so excited for tomorrow. It seems odd to be excited about something that I have been doing for 20 years. However, after spending the last three weeks on crutches, the thought of walking again is so very exciting! I don't even really care that I am now in the boot for the next two weeks...at least! Regardless though, if you read yesterdays post, you know that this thankfully means I won't be on crutches to go back to school. Today, I also found out that I am helping with the drive tomorrow at the church for school supplies! Put my boot on tonight and it kind of hurts, but I think is just going to take some getting used to! Stay tuned in tomorrow to see how walking went! Much love to all those who read this and are thinking of me!

answers: day 53/365

I went to the doctor today, and got some awesome news! I will not be on crutches when I go back to school! I will still likely be in the walking boot, but we will just have to see! I get to start taking steps and walking, to tolerance, starting Thursday morning. The thing I am most excited about to do besides walking? Showering...and being able to stand to do so. Mom and I talked about it though, and I will probably still take my stool in the shower with me and then I can still sit if needed, without having to lift it in there in pain! I am both very excited and very nervous to walk. I am excited about no crutches, but I am nervous about the amount of pain that I am sure will be associated with walking for a couple days at least. We tried to move my foot around a little today, and it hurt pretty bad....it's just so stiff after not moving around for so long. Looking forward to this with at least a little bit of apprehension though! Pray for those first steps!! :)

getting nervous :/ : day 52/365

OK, I know I have shared this picture before, but tomorrow I go back to the doctor and I am kind of nervous. I am almost certain that all the stitches will come out....key word...ALMOST! More than being worried about the stitches though, I am worried about what will happen when I go back. I am hoping to go back with no crutches, but at this point a lot is unknown! I really just wish that I knew how to plan for school this year. Hoping I get answers tomorrow! Wish me luck!

untitled: day 51/365

Just found out that my friend Amber is going to come back to college at HLGU! I am hoping it goes well for her! I was not looking forward to going back and not having her on campus! We were close before, when I was helping with youth, but our friendship got so much stronger when she came to HLG last fall! I am so excited! We have had so many unforgettable times, from deep-hearted conversations, to going back stage at concerts, to Buffalo Wild Wings in a parking lot a 3 AM with these rockstars! I mean, come on! It does not get better than that! I can't wait to make a million more awesome memories with her!! Looking forward to school!

topping off the sickly pot: day 50/365

Other than being sick, it was a good weekend at my aunt's house. However, in the fashion of life, all good things must come to an end! Sadly, that meant that mom and I had to come home today! I was excited to come home, but on the way home we got a call that poor Greg and Amy (Grace and new baby Hope's mom and dad) have the flu now! At least Amy is at the hospital, so she will be ok, and same for Hope if she has picked anything up from any of the various people who didn't know they were sick. I know it sounds weird to say that, but keep in mind, we all thought this started out as a case of food poisoning from some expired orange juice. Anyhow, that brings our total count to 17 of 20. We are really hoping that my daddy doesn't get it because he is very diabetic and so it is decided that if he gets it mom and I are taking him right to the hospital and letting them take care of him. Anyway, when we got home, we decided to go out school supply shopping and called Teresa and Joey to see if they wanted to go get school supplies for the boys with us...since it is tax free weekend. Wal mart was insane, but I still powned that store in a wheelchair, with a little help from daddy! It was a lot of fun and then as the icing on the cake, we all went out to dinner at Golden Corral! It was a super fun night and now, other than a few little things, ink cartridges, and groceries, I a, all ready to go....just waiting on a couple more weeks worth of healing time, and the doctor's OK to go back! I am excited to see my friends though! But it has been a long day, and with a couple of slip ups, it has also been a painful day....so I am thinking it is definitely time for bed...hope you all had/will have a great day! Pray I get to walk soon!! :)

worst house guests EVER!: day 49/365

So yesterday, Trevor was sick. but is feeling much better! but unfortunately, today we woke up to texts from Danny and Kaylee saying that they are both sick, and my Uncle Pat and my little cousin Grace woke up sick, and then Josh started not too long ago! We also got a call from Krystal that poor Isaac is sick! :( We are "affectionately" naming this flu crap the Plague! The official counts comes in at 14 of 20 so far! I am sure it isn't done yet wither, which is the suckiest part! Josh is feeling better already and him, Kelli, and Trevor headed home not too long ago! Kelli is driving and Trevor, who was so ready for a nap, and Josh will likely sleep the whole way home! Hopefully when they get home, Josh can get all settled back into bed and focus on getting better! My poor aunt is never going to invite us to her house again! I am finally over the grogy feeling you get after being sick and the only issue I am dealing with still is a major headache, and that seems to be the norm for the after-math of this stuff! Here's to hoping no one else gets sick! I am going to post a picture of Isaac and Trevor when they weren't sick, because I like them a lot more that way....I hate seeing the babies sick! Unfortunately due to sickness, I have no pictures of Sally's this weekend! :(

we were wrong!: day 48/365

we are really beginning to think we were wrong about food poisoning. My sister, who feels absolutely awful for doing so, has given both Kelli and I the flu.Mom got a call from Teresa today as well telling us that both Carl and Nathan are sick and passed the flu onto Joey (her bf) too! This stuff is spreading like wildfire! Mom is feeling pretty rough too. I am not going to lie to you all though, I am posting this after the second, because I honestly could not hardly move on the second without throwing up or feeling like I was going to. Poor Kelli had it worse than any of us so far though and has even endured a trip to the ER, but with medicine, hopefully she is feeling better. To imagine what it feels like with this crap, imagine getting drug behind a horse for a few miles and then hit by a semi going 70 miles an hour! All the while throwing up. If you are me, you also slept on the couch and when you woke up sick, you got moved to the "quarentine zone" (which we later learned was pointless!) which is upstairs and than means crawling/hopping my way to bed up there! I did make it, but barely! I just crawled up into the bed and died a little! it was awful and I really did feel like death! Thank goodness this crap only lasts for 24 hours or so....unless you are Kelli, who 2 days after everyone else feels better is feeling crummy! Secondly, I didn't have internet at my aunt's house, so with the exception of this blog post, I wrote them all and so I just have to upload them! So even without internet....I am dedicated.....y'all just remember that! I would upload a pic, but I don't think you all want to see my sick face. One of my friends wanted a pic, even though I told him I was sick. He tried to still tell mo I was beautiful, but I don't believe him so this comes without a picture....sorry folks! In other news: my cousin had here baby! A little girl: Hope Gene! I haven't gotten to see her still, but I am sure she is just beautiful like her momma! Can't wait to meet her....maybe at my other cousin's baby shower next weekend! :) Deuces!

my day: day 47/365

Pictured below is a picture I thought to snap to show everyone that my blogging, while short at times and sloppy at other times, comes from a dedicated soul. You can see part of a child's head (my nephew's) while my computer is in front of him on my lap. Why you might ask? because I am a dedicated blogger....and auntie too! I was keeping an eye on him and we cuddled up and watched cartoons, partly in hopes to slow him down a bit and partly in hopes that it would put him to sleep. I thought about having my brother take him up and lay him in his playpen with his mom, but then decided that was probably a bad idea! My poor sissy (his momma) we believe has food poisoning...poor girl! She still came down to my cousin's house though, because tonight Amy was induced which means...we should have a baby by morning...hopefully!!*crossing fingers* So many exciting things happening. And to top it all off, my cousins, Carl and Nate, got to spend the night last night and so they were at the house to hang out with us this morning. I will also put a picture of me with all the kiddos too! I think that is about it for my day today, so with my nephew on my lap and the need to go get ready for bed....I bid you all good evening and wish you all the sweetest of dreams, while wishing myself the greatest of luck as I move my nephew so I can put on pajamas....hoping he stays asleep!